The Work-Life Balance Dilemma: Challenging Times for a great Idea
By Nadja Conaghan
The Problem with the term “Work-Life Balance”
There are words related to wellbeing that are well-intended but when taken literally can do more harm to wellbeing than promoting a (mentally) healthy lifestyle and mindset. One of these words for me is Work-Life Balance. Don’t get me wrong – I am all for work-life balance. What I am saying is that work-life balance has a reputation problem. It has some negative connotations nowadays and seems to have lost the meaning it stood for.
What does Balance mean?
Does balance mean that they have the same value on both sides all the time, aka 50:50? I personally think that I don’t need nor want this exact balance all the time. Sometimes I am happy to put more than 50 on the work side to get something done and I know I can relax when I am not at work and not worry about it. On holidays I want to give 100% to my life and don’t want to think about work at all, so I can enjoy the moment and being with important people in my life giving them my full attention.
Work vs. Life?
Work vs. Life. This sounds like a boxing match between two enemies fighting to win - a constant battle.
There is work in one corner of the ring and in the other corner there is life. Does it mean I have to keep them completely separated, otherwise they clash? Do I have to manage “two relationships”, where ideally one doesn’t know about the other? Does that mean that I cannot socialise with work people outside of work and cannot share anything about the “non-work me” with my colleagues? Don’t get me wrong – I think there should be clear boundaries between work and private life. But I think it is okay when they overlap and see work friends outside of work from time to time as long as it doesn’t cause a conflict and issues.
Work and Life – that’s it?
Are there only two things? Work and life. Nothing else?
What exactly is life? Everything that is not work? Does life mean the same to everyone? Does it mean family and friends? Does it mean hobbies?
Is Work all bad?
The term “work has a slightly negative connotation. “Work” sounds like the bad stuff and “life” the fun stuff. It sounds like that we cannot enjoy work and that we just do it for the money to enjoy our “life”. Maybe I do something wrong - I love what I do and money is not my primary motivator why I do what I do. I enjoy connecting with like-minded people at work to achieve common goals for a higher purpose together as a team. And sometimes “life” outside of work is not fun and can be tough. I think we need to re-evaluate our relationships with both terms. Like in all relationships - there are good and bad / challenging things that come with it. It is all about acknowledging it and making it work to build a strong, healthy and lasting relationship.
The Act of Balancing Sounds exhausting.
Who has ever tried to balance something for a long period of time? It is hard work. It is exhausting and stressful. Isn’t it ironic that the goal is to be relaxed and less stressed but that act of ensuring that you get the right balance 24/7 means that you can never really rest?
Wheel of Life - an Alternative?
So what is the alternative? Something that I came across years ago is The Wheel of Life – a great concept that I love to use when coaching my clients to identify their needs and wants, and for setting and achieving their goals in the key areas of life. There are different versions of The Wheel of Life - varying from 7 to 12 aspects or more. Over the years, I found that following core aspects work for myself and also for most of my clients:
Personal & self.
Social; relationship & family.
Health & well-being.
Financial freedom.
Spiritual; ethics & values.
Educational & self-improvement.
Vocational & career.
The idea is that you have the right balance across these areas, i.e. that you do not put too much emphasis on one area and neglect and ultimately damage others in the long run. For example, if you put too much effort and time into your work and getting the next promotion, you might neglect and cause long-term damage to your personal health & mental wellbeing and important personal relationships in your life. Again – there are times when you need to invest more time and effort in one area which is okay. However, check from time to time:
Is the balance across the different areas just right for the moment?
What areas are just right?
What areas get too much attention?
What areas are neglected and (may) suffer?
For how long can you keep this balance going or do you need to adjust?
How do you boost the neglected areas?
How do you reduce your attention for the areas that get too much?
Access the mentioned tools and templates in the Resource Centre (for Silver and Gold Clients only).